Happy New Year 2025
It’s been half a decade since my last blog post. I remember writing it during the height of COVID, a time of uncertainty and helplessness. I’ve been trying to recall the exact moment that prompted me to write that post. If I remember correctly, it was when I decided to pursue a Master’s in Legal Psychology at Maastricht University.
Surprise, surprise! I got accepted! But there was one catch: I needed a scholarship. Long story short, I didn’t get it. And just like that, another heartbreak. When I thought my life would spiral downward from there, it actually didn’t.
I was offered a chance to return to my first job. Then, eventually, I landed a job in Germany. I got married (to my beloved boyfriend of seven years, Ilham) and moved to Berlin. I got laid off, started new jobs, resigned, and decided to take a much-needed career break. Along the way, I embraced homemaking and significantly improved my cooking and baking skills. I even reached B1 level in German. When I thought life would take me on an entirely new path, it circled back to recruitment, the job I once thought I’d leave behind. And not just that: I’m back at my previous company, something I never imagined happening in a million years.
If my life feels like a roller coaster, it’s because it truly has been one.
As someone who prides herself on being a planner, accepting life’s unpredictable formula wasn’t easy. I battled depression, my mental and physical health deteriorated, and I found myself questioning every life decision I’d made. There were moments I even wished I hadn’t moved to Germany. But three years later, returning to Berlin is always a moment I look forward to the most during travelling.
Turning 30 has been a significant milestone for me. People make such a big deal about this age. For a while, I felt scared too. Society frames 30 as the age where you should have life “figured out”. No room for mistakes, no space for failure.
But as time passed, I came to a realization:
Failing does not make you a failure, it makes you human.
Just as cliché as probably millions of others after New Year’s Eve, I’ve made a resolution too. This time, it’s to share my stories and voice in this blog. Not because I have everything figured out, but because sharing these experiences can offer insights, to myself, and to others navigating similar paths.
Do you have a similar story?
I’d love to hear yours.
Nisadyr 